For Hope and Faith,
"Hello. I'm your Mama." That was what I wanted to say when I met you both for the first time. I stood back and watched you from afar, even though you were so close. Eventually, Hope came to me and held up her arms for me to pick her up, and then Faith did the same. I was holding both of you in my arms for the first time...together. I played with you--we did "Ring Around the Rosie" and all fell down, we played chase, we played ride the horsey, and held you--trying as much as possible to hold you both and putting you down immediately every time you said you wanted down. I tried to walk away and give you space because you had no idea who I was--yet--and somehow, you would always gravitate back toward me. I helped you wash your hands and faces and hunt for eggs. I would say (and have said) that it was "love at first sight," but the truth is that I loved you two over four months before I ever saw you. It was tough to learn that I missed Hope's birthday a few weeks ago and touching to know now that it is the day after our anniversary. I was hopeful when I learned that Faith's birthday is next Friday and that there is always a chance that you could both be home by then. I asked you both what you wanted for your birthdays because we were talking about birthdays (the topic was brought up by others), and you both said that you wanted a cupcake. Faith said, "...with ice cream in it." I plan to have a huge party to celebrate all the birthdays we have missed, and you will get cupcakes with ice cream in them and SO much more. It warmes my heart that you two liked me and kept gravitating to me. And when Hope gave me two unexpected kisses--one apparently just because and the other to say, "Goodbye," my heart completely melted. Today was one of the best days of my life, and as hard as it was to let you go, I hold onto the hope and faith that you two will be in my arms again soon.
God is good all the time, and all the time, God is good!
I'll be seeing you soon.
Love,
Mama
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